Life

Regret

4 April 2013

I’ve never really had any regrets in my life. I always think, “If I didn’t date that person or if I didn’t get bullied, I would not be where I am today.” I would not have travelled if I wasn’t bullied. I would not be interested in Latin America if I didn’t go on a date to see Once Upon A Time In Mexico (my secret shame!), and so on. I wouldn’t be married to Alex if my life went a little differently.

But in the last two years, for the first time in my life, I have felt regret. It was a wrong decision. A missed opportunity. A different path. In this case, the road less traveled by.

We had waited so, so long in Costa Rica for Alex’s Australian visa to come through. We were terribly desperate to leave. I recall the morning that we heard the news that he finally received the visa. We were ecstatic and began making flight plans immediately.

On that very same afternoon, Alex received a call from a prospective employer in Ljubljana, Slovenia. Alex had applied for a job there a few weeks before, and had undertaken an interview on Skype. They seemed interested, but he didn’t hear from them for a few weeks.

Until the day we received the Australian visa. They had called to inform Alex that he had got the job.

We were torn. On one hand, I was desperately homesick for Australia, we had waited so long for the visa, and we were already envisioning our Australian life together. On the other hand, when would we have another amazing opportunity to live in a beautiful European country and travel around Europe in the meantime? Alex already had a job lined up there and we were even offered assistance with the relocation.

We wrote up a pros and cons list, and although the two sides were extremely even, we ended up choosing Australia, because the visa was ready, we wanted to eventually buy a house in Australia, and I had some roots here. We were tired of moving, and moving to another country would be hard all over again. We would have to rent and our dream of owning a home would be even further away.

Now we are here. I was lucky enough to realise that teaching wasn’t for me and found an amazing new industry to work in. Alex is working hard and not far from gaining Australian citizenship. Our life here is good, but I just know we missed something amazing. Australia was always going to be here. A perfect job in Slovenia may not always be.

Perhaps we will live and work in Europe some day, but I will always be thinking what could have been.

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